This is not a post on fairness or to berate people who preach such things. The post today is about our responsibility to make things better and not fall victims to the same age-old practices which we have criticized before becoming a prey to it.
In my own family, I have seen countless women suffering from inferiority complex because either their mother, sister or, worse still, mother-in-law is fairer than them. I know this sounds a little extreme but these are small nuances which have great effect on relationships as well in the later life! There is nothing called fairness. We all have a pre-defined skin tones and we can never change them.
Take me for example, my mother is extremely fair where as my father is the opposite end of the pole. There is a lot of age difference in my mom and dad and thanks to her genes, my mother looks younger than her age and has very little gray hair even though she is 52 now. Where as, my father started greying post 45 which is, I guess, a decent age. And, I did not favor either of them in the skin tone. I am a middle with a darker wheatish skin tone. So, I was ridiculed on one hand for being too dark and for being fair enough on another 😀
Honestly, either of it did not change much for me. I learned that pretty early in life and have been comfortable in my own skin. I think it has a lot to do with how your parents treat you as well. For example, I know of a lady who had commented on her second child being darker than her first born! Well, this comment stayed with the second lady for life long and it does manifest in quite a lot of her activities!
In fact, I would love to quote a dialog from Pretty Woman which fits aptly in this context, “Well, thanks, but it’s easy to clean up when you got money“. It is so true coz when you can buy whole lotta stuff, you do become fairer overnight. Ever noticed that with our film stars?
What do you say? What is your stance on being fair?
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sangeetha menon says
September 16, 2014 at 2:13 PMSwati.. Being fair is a stigma in our society as well.. You know my daughter is on the wheatish side while I am on the fairest one .. I often get comparisons unwanted, uninvited, unattended all the time .. God knows why people compares and worse tells the child .. Imagine the inferiority complex seeds sown in those innocent minds if my daughter is to stay with them .. Hmmm …
Swati Murti says
September 17, 2014 at 6:43 AMsame here. but, thankfully, i have thick skin 😀 or too proud to let it seep into my conscious but yes, not all children can handle comparisons. oh i forgot to mention it is not only the elders who do these comparisons but also the kids. it happened to me and of course it had hurt me at that time but now i think of it as just being silly!!