Infertility often creates one of the most distressing life crises that a couple has ever experienced together. The long term inability to conceive a child can evoke significant feelings of loss. I have four friends who are facing this problem and all of them are coping with this problem differently.
The multitude of medical decisions and the uncertainties that infertility brings can create great emotional upheaval for most couples. One of my friends is so depressed because of social and family pressures that she is keeping herself in a cave, metaphorically speaking.
But that’s not a solution to any problem. If she won’t discuss things, probably she won’t realize about the many options available. It is important to keep yourself aware at such a juncture instead of shutting down so that one can find best solution. Who knows there is a light down the tunnel?
Two of my friends are dealing with it very positively. They are not blaming themselves or each other. They take things normally and stay cheerful always. They have actually made their mind that the last thing is always in our hands and that is adoption.
I think that’s perfect because getting pregnant is not the only way to be parents. Really hats off to one of my friend who has gone through five operations and had been to all the best centres but I never saw her crying and her husband is so very supportive.
Everyone has feelings and emotional ups and downs as they pursue infertility treatment. But being negative can always make matters worst. And I have seen women suffer more than men in these situations because of the way we are raised, the beliefs implanted in us.
Okay, let me tell you being a mother can’t be an ultimate ambition in our life. We have so many other things to do. Even women who doesn’t want to be a mother is forced to bear child and is called inhuman or emotionless.
Men are not pressurized that way or probably they are brought up to repress their feelings or keep it to themselves. Because, they must be feeling the same pain but trying to be a strong and chivalrous lest they be taken not that much of man as they are supposed to be.
Well, whatever problems we may have, we should not stop living our life. Don’t keep on postponing your vacation or take your career and relationships for granted. This is something I would totally agree with because I can see some people doing it for some unforeseen future. Its good to be optimistic but that’s of no use if you can’t live your present.
Amazing post, Punam. Its very difficult to put such issues in words if one has never been through it. Oh btw guys, don’t forget to check out Punam’s homemade talcum powder.
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shruti lakshman says
November 16, 2012 at 6:52 AMbeautifully written..PCOD is one of the main causes for infertility and nowadays, its become a lifestyle condition. I would like to suggest everyone who is reading this to get themselves checked for it(if u have irregular chums:()
I had it and it was tough for me..so many doubts hijacked my mind then..
Swati Murti says
November 21, 2012 at 7:01 AMhmmm…its a good topic to write on!!! many are suffering from it these days.
bebeautiful withpunam says
December 9, 2012 at 9:34 AM@shruti lakshman:thanks shruti..i wish we all could make people more aware by talking on such issues..
Pranali says
November 17, 2012 at 2:00 PMthe only symptom i showed for pcos was hair thinning.. it scares me how it would be few yrs down the line when i want to have a baby.. would my then in-laws n husband be understanding enough..??
Swati Murti says
November 21, 2012 at 7:02 AMdon’t worry, everything will be fine 🙂
Agnes says
November 21, 2012 at 7:21 PMI never had to worry about this, but a friend of mine did. I read a scientific study a few days back about a mediterranean diet increasing chances of getting pregnant in women undergoing IVF treatment. Might be worth a shot, its a healthy diet so it can’t hurt.
Swati Murti says
November 22, 2012 at 3:06 PMthat’s interesting to know 🙂
bebeautiful withpunam says
December 9, 2012 at 9:35 AM@agnes: that’s really a good news , i will suggest my friends who are undergoing ifv treatment . thankss
Marjolein says
October 20, 2013 at 7:10 PMI had trouble having a baby and I took evening primrose oil for two weeks on advice of a friend. I got pregnant the same cycle. Next baby I took it right a way, and got pregnant right away. She is three now!
I’m not saying it’s a quick solution to a big problem. Maybe I had no fertility problems, and just impatience. Maybe give it a try. You never know and it’s cheap. Just make sure to stop using it after ovulation. It might not be good for a developing baby. Do your research on this, under some conditions, you shouldn’t take evening primrose oil.