I have been hearing so much about SMJ (Satyamev Jayate) so I got curious and watched it just now. I watched the child sexual abuse episode. And, it was bad!!! No, not in the sense of the show or the content but the whole discussion and everything was so horrible in the sense of incidents. The things which people have faced and they have gone through and probably still going through are so heart rendering. Oh yes, I am a cry baby 😀 I cry in movies so real life will obviously make me cry. [And, talking about the host, I hate him. He is known as perfectionist and I really feel he is a snob. Ok, sorry for the personal comments on your favourite or responsible actor but this is my blog and I can put up my personal opinions. Yes, I do accept he has made amazing movies like Lagaan and Rang De Basanti.]
Anyway, talking about the topic, I would like to talk about a small incident of my life. It was 1996 and I was 10. Just like everyday, I caught a bus for the school. It was not a school bus and it wasn’t even crowded for that matter. I got into the bus and since I couldn’t find any seat so I was the only one standing. Then, a bearded man in the first seat asks me to sit down beside him. There was one middle place on the 3-seater. So, I sat there. Ok, at 10, I was not that developed like some girls are. So, after a little while, the guy started touching my chest And, I literally hated it. He continues doing that for what seemed like a long time and then, he got his hands under my skirt and I was completely clueless. Not going into the details, I still remember the sensations I felt at that time. One feels repulsed and disgusted just like you would feel when someone touches you as an adult and you don’t even know what’s happening to you. The whole thing was over in probably 10-15 minutes but that was my longest ride to school.
At 10, a kid doesn’t really understand what’s going on but I knew that he shouldn’t be doing that. I wanted to get up from the seat but couldn’t gather the courage. I wanted to exchange seat with the other man and couldn’t speak up at all. I wanted to literally run away and it was like my legs had frozen. I wanted to say to him to take his hands off me but I couldn’t. Its a very difficult thing. The worst thing was that there was a man sitting to the other side of me and he kept his head constantly turned towards the window. Today, if I think about it, I guess he had noticed what was going on and kept shut about it.
And, the irony of the story is that I saw this man after a few years again and he had a small girl with him who was probably his daughter. I hope he realised the consequences of his actions. Since then, I have always been sceptical of bearded men. It gives me creeps to think about it. And, writing this post was equally difficult for me. I wanted to write about this to bring out a part of injustice on children left out in SMJ and that was that such kind of things can happen at the most unlikely places as well. Yes, they won’t carry on for long time durations but even 10 minutes are enough to leave an impression on the child. I have never told about this incident except for one male friend and that person didn’t really understand the significance. And, strictly speaking, I didn’t even know about what happened with me till I learned about child sexual abuse.
PS: This is a post about awareness of social issues. Kindly keep the sympathetic comments to yourself. I am sorry if I sound rude. I would rather appreciate a discussion of the topic or the show.
PS 1: If you would like to discuss or talk about anything, you can drop anonymous comments as well.